We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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