doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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