PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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