all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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