last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
