Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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