For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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