sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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