I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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