we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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