plz talk dirty to me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
