she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
