Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
a search helicopter?!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
