You kept calling me your small dog last night.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I need a burrito and a hug.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
