considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
