Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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