She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
