it's not cheating when I paid for it
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
