And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
