Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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