I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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