wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
