Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
