the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
