Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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