you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Mom said you looked used
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
