What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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