I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
