Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
