Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
