fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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