dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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