i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think my vagina is haunted
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
