when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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