theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
