You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
