You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
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