I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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