A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just come out here and I will go home with you...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
