Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
