...so i touched it.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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