Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
