Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
