drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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