remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
