Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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