yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
