Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
