i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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