I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
